Bringing Out The Dead…!

Night shifts are really draining for me. Twenty years ago a busy night shift was doing two or three jobs per crew….now if you do seven or eight jobs per crew then that is deemed a slack night! Average per crew at my station is between nine and eleven jobs per night shift.

If it was real emergencies we were going to then it might not be so bad, but….the vast majority of these so-called emergencies are of such a trivial and sometimes ridiculous nature that eventually you become worn down and start to resent night shifts.

I know I do….I hate night shifts with a passion because I know that for every real life threatening job I am going to deal with there will be at least ten others which require nothing more than education….or a quick cutting/slashing motion across the jugular with a sharpened metal Patient Report Form clipboard!!!

One of the best films that I have seen recently is the very dark “Bringing Out The Dead” released I believe in 1999 and starring Nicholas Cage as a New York Paramedic working in Hells Kitchen, Manhatten who is having a breakdown…on nights! If you ever get the chance to see it then do. Click here for a bit more info.

Why Our Country Is Great…!

Everythings a bit hectic at the moment and I need to sort a tonne of admin out and crack on with my training. (Only used my new trainers four times since getting them for Christmas!)

In the mean while take the time to have a look at this vid and enjoy….it starts off a bit slow but stay with it.

Makes me smile every time!

I Wish…..!!!

I wish that we could be allowed a greater degree of autonomy when it comes to dealing with patients. Rather than having to prescribe to a rigid protocol or algorhythm we should be allowed to administer a certain amount of “Corrective Re-Education” to our cerebrally challenged clients!

For instance….if you should by any chance happen to be prescribed sleeping pills (diazepam 2mg – take one at bedtime) and then feel drowsy, then please when you dial 999 at 3 in the morning do not be surprised to be soundly beaten about the head and body!

 Also Available in Ambulance Green…

Why do I seem to get these patients when I,m on nights?

Home Remedies…!!!

Found this on Theos site and thought I would share it with you…it made me chuckle!

Simple Home Remedies

1. If you are choking on an ice cube simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat. Presto! The blockage will instantly remove itself.

2. Avoid cutting yourself slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold while you chop.

3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by using the shower.

4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer.

5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.

6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough.

7. You only need two tools in life – WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn’t move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn’t move and does, use the duct tape.

8. Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

Daily Thought:

SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKYS. NOT REALLY GOOD FOR
ANYTHING BUT THEY BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN
PUSHED DOWN THE STAIRS

“Ouch…!!!”

Late…!!!

  

I roll over again onto my side pulling the duvet around my shoulders tighter to squeeze more comfort and warmth out of the Tog 24 rated bedding. I am warm…I am cosy…I am comfy…I am in bliss. Very nice…marvellous.

All is quiet within the Kingmagic house hold. Sleep reigns supreme with the silence only being interrupted by the occasional low snore. The kind of snore that boasts contentment, that all is well with the world and that the ever approaching day is far far away.

Lazily I open one eye to sneak a look at the alarm clock. Just to reaffirm to my sub-conscious that I am in Heaven and that I have lots of zeds left before I need to mobilise my tired limbs.

“……..0618 hours…….”  mmmmm! I,ll just have another five minutes…….

A slow burning candle at the back of my mind begins to burn brighter. Suddenly the candle begins to take on the shape and form of a bright halogen light bulb….Ping!

Realisation number:

1. ……the bloody alarm has not gone off!
2. ……I,m at work in 42 minutes!
3. ……It takes me 30 minutes to drive there!
4. ……I,m still not fully awake!

With the agility and grace of a gazelle I leap from my warm duvet which has cocooned me in warmth and nice dreams all night. The sudden shock of the cold night air hits my body as the bedroom temperature seems much, much, much lower than that of my nice warm duvet…!

Immediately my warm body seems to seize up and I stumble and stagger across to the en-suite bathroom. Whereas once I was gazelle like, I am now more akin to a one legged elephant pissed up in the dark! My foot catches on the corner of the door and I fumble about for the light switch. A light switch that I have turned on and off a thousand times with no problems…even in the dark! Now I seem to have lost all sense of spatial awareness and momentarily think to myself that I might not even be able to find my own arse with both hands!!!

Panic begins to creep in….”Wake up! Wake up!” I will my self to shake off the cobwebs of sleep from the befuddled edges of my consciousness. “Click!”  I find the light switch…the bedroom is bathed in light from the bathroom and I look to Mrs .Magic who is sleeping and hope that I have not disturbed her. 

I start to wake up now…formulate an action plan and begin to put it into action. I only have time for the three S plan…“S**t, shave and shower!” I will not have time to eat breakfast and I make a mental note to buy a big sausage, bacon and egg butty at the first opportunity.

“Uniform…?”…..I cant remember where it is….and it needs filling up with all the bits of kit that I carry during my shift. I will just bung it all in a plastic bag and sort it at work……

“……0631 hours!……” ….I,m not even dressed yet! I am going to be soooooooo late!

A sudden movement from under the duvet alerts me to the fact that I have woken Mrs. Magic from her slumber. “What are you doing…?” she asks me as I try and jam my left boot onto my right foot! “Bloody alarm did,nt go off!!!” I stagger with one leg in the air trying to chase down the errant boot that refuses to play fair.

Mrs. Magic looks over at the clock……”0636 hours……” She then looks back at me as I try to multi-task zipping trousers, tucking in shirt, sorting out collar and grabbing kit….still with one boot on the wrong foot! “Why are you up…?” 

Realisation number:

     5.  ……I,m on days off…!!!

Bugger!!!