I roll over again onto my side pulling the duvet around my shoulders tighter to squeeze more comfort and warmth out of the Tog 24 rated bedding. I am warm…I am cosy…I am comfy…I am in bliss. Very nice…marvellous.

All is quiet within the Kingmagic house hold. Sleep reigns supreme with the silence only being interrupted by the occasional low snore. The kind of snore that boasts contentment, that all is well with the world and that the ever approaching day is far far away.

Lazily I open one eye to sneak a look at the alarm clock. Just to reaffirm to my sub-conscious that I am in Heaven and that I have lots of zeds left before I need to mobilise my tired limbs.

“……..0618 hours…….”  mmmmm! I,ll just have another five minutes…….


A slow burning candle at the back of my mind begins to burn brighter. Suddenly the candle begins to take on the shape and form of a bright halogen light bulb….Ping!

Realisation number:

  1. ……the bloody alarm has not gone off!
  2. ……I,m at work in 42 minutes!
  3. ……It takes me 30 minutes to drive there!
  4. ……I,m still not fully awake!

With the agility and grace of a gazelle I leap from my warm duvet which has cocooned me in warmth and nice dreams all night. The sudden shock of the cold night air hits my body as the bedroom temperature seems much, much, much lower than that of my nice warm duvet…!

Immediately my warm body seems to seize up and I stumble and stagger across to the en-suite bathroom. Whereas once I was gazelle like, I am now more akin to a one legged elephant pissed up in the dark! My foot catches on the corner of the door and I fumble about for the light switch. A light switch that I have turned on and off a thousand times with no problems…even in the dark! Now I seem to have lost all sense of spatial awareness and momentarily think to myself that I might not even be able to find my own arse with both hands!!!

Panic begins to creep in….”Wake up! Wake up!” I will my self to shake off the cobwebs of sleep from the befuddled edges of my consciousness. “Click!”  I find the light switch…the bedroom is bathed in light from the bathroom and I look to Mrs .Magic who is sleeping and hope that I have not disturbed her. 

I start to wake up now…formulate an action plan and begin to put it into action. I only have time for the three S plan…“S**t, shave and shower!” I will not have time to eat breakfast and I make a mental note to buy a big sausage, bacon and egg butty at the first opportunity.

“Uniform…?”…..I cant remember where it is….and it needs filling up with all the bits of kit that I carry during my shift. I will just bung it all in a plastic bag and sort it at work……

“……0631 hours!……” ….I,m not even dressed yet! I am going to be soooooooo late!

A sudden movement from under the duvet alerts me to the fact that I have woken Mrs. Magic from her slumber. “What are you doing…?” she asks me as I try and jam my left boot onto my right foot! “Bloody alarm did,nt go off!!!” I stagger with one leg in the air trying to chase down the errant boot that refuses to play fair.

Mrs. Magic looks over at the clock……”0636 hours……” She then looks back at me as I try to multi-task zipping trousers, tucking in shirt, sorting out collar and grabbing kit….still with one boot on the wrong foot! “Why are you up…?” 

Realisation number:

     5.  ……I,m on days off…!!!




13 Responses to Late…!!!

  1. Bugger….. and how good was it get back into bed again?
    I bet it seemed twice as snug as when you left it!

  2. Emma says:

    I was chasing round the bedroom with you while you did that….very well written KM, don’t tell Mrs Magic I said…xx

  3. bendygirl says:

    That was too funny! I bet the bed seemed soooo much nicer when you got back in! BG

  4. Stonehead says:

    LOL. Been there, got the T-shirt – several times.

    One of the worst was staggering up and out the door into the winter cold at 4am (for a 5am start), falling into the car, starting it, turning on the radio, and suddenly realising it was Monday, not Tuesday.

    Mind you, a friend once got all the way into work and had been there 20 minutes when someone pointed out he was on days off. He wasn’t a happy bunny.

    Shiftwork, I’m glad to have put it behind me.

  5. traineeparamedic says:

    Ha ha, a friend of mine was also up at 6, but having gotten in around 11 the night previous, after a few drinks he woke up around 1 ish and thought it was time to get up. He also had a shower and was dressed when his mom came out and asked what the hell he was doing!

  6. He He He!!! I bet you’re glad you have a Mrs Magic to help you through these things….

  7. Kingmagic says:

    UHDD….went back to bed but was wide awake by then!

    Emma….I needed another pair of hands just to keep me upright.


    BG….it was nice to get back in bed but as I say I was wide awake by then!

    Stonehead….we always seem to get up at the wrong time when its bloody cold never when its nice and warmy!

    TP….yep that rings bells for me too!

    Drunken spaniel….without Mrs. Magic I would be useless!

  8. Stonehead says:

    I’m just in from dropping our youngest son off at nursery, where I had a chat with one of the mums, during which this subject came up.

    Her husband works shifts and has done for years, so he’s often on autopilot until he actually gets to work.

    Last summer, he got got up at 3.30am, did his careful, quiet shave, dress and breakfast, did the hour’s drive to work and got on with it.

    At 6.30am his wife called him on his mobile and asked where he was. They were supposed to be leaving for the airport at 8am to go on holiday. And the airport is an hour’s drive from their house…

    (Fortunately, they were already packed and he works 10 minutes away from the airport so they met there. His wife says it’s going to take him years to live it down.)

  9. Alison says:

    A few weeks ago, I had to get up at 4am to catch a flight…woke up at half 5 when the taxi driver rang me to see what was keeping me. Had only had two hours sleep so was incredibly disorientated and wondered why anybody would be asking such ridiculous questions at that time of the morning. Then the realisation dawned…dressed, packed and out of the house within ten minutes, but not before I had woken up the whole flat in my hurry (particularly when trying to find the light switch and banging my straighteners repeatedly off my flatmate’s door because I hadn’t had time to put them in my bag, followed by thumping my suitcase off every single stair). Never again will I wonder why I book my airport taxis for half an hour early!

  10. Alison, glad to see something are purely instinctual, you didn’t forget the straighteners!

  11. Lindsey says:

    I am so glad I am not the only one! At work I dream my partner tells me we got a call, so I get up and start getting dressed only to hear them still snoring.

  12. Dani says:

    That was hilarious. I seriously laughed out loud when I read that.
    That post made my day.

    Heres to hoping you enjoyed the rest of your liein without interuption and panic.

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