Ecstasy and Agony…!

E

I recently had occasion to speak to one of our new A/E docs. He had just started his placement and was keen as mustard absorbing all the new sights, sounds and smells of the different patients that graced the department. Most doctors remember with some fondness their time in A/E before specialising elsewhere in the NHS. The things that are seen and heard in A/E would be dismissed as sheer fantasy by people not working within the profession.

And so it was that we started on the subject of drug abuse within society and the many, varied and ingenious ways that people find to attain that high. If people want to absorb something potentially toxic and life threatening into their system in order to escape the day to day rigours of life then there is a myriad of ways available.

From the obvious…alcohol, beer and spirits swallowed with relish in many a fine drinking emporium. To the smoking of various tobaccos either legally or illegally with all the inherent health issues that it brings with it. To the more severe forms of edification such as the use of hard drugs…heroin, cocaine and the like.

So it was with great relish that I furnished the new A/E doctor with knowledge of the latest fashion of drug use. As I relayed this information he wrote many scribbles in his note book for future reference, not daring to miss any snippet of advice on the subject. Drug users/abusers are renowned for their ingenious ways of sampling pharmaceutical bliss. 

I imparted the wisdom of many years experience and told him about the new way of taking “Ecstasy”. The user grounds up the tablet into a powder and places it into the bowl of a large spoon. This is then diluted with either milk or water to make a solution. The solution is then drawn up into a hypodermic syringe making sure there are no air bubbles present. It is then injected between the teeth!!!

As I was telling all this to the doctor, he occasionally muttered a “tut tut” or gently shook his head as he wrote down the instructions. At the end of this I then mentioned to him that it is only used in this way up north…Yorkshire to be precise.

And the medical name for this practice?…

“Eeee! By gum!”  

Bugger! Missed!