Spider Woman…!

July 8, 2007


Called to a private address for reports of “SOB…Breathing Diffs!”

This is a Cat A Red call meaning that it is potentially “Life Threatening!”

Arriving promptly at the address we are met at the front door by the patients daughter who seems quite calm as she quickly explains that she did not know who to call to help her mother. I ask if her mum is okay as we step back into the house and head towards the ground floor bedroom to find our patient.

Walking into the bedroom I realise that our patient is not laid on her bed or sat in her chair trying to breath…in fact I cant see her at all! “Wheres your mum?” I ask the daughter. “Shes up there!” and she points above our heads. And she is….she is up there….stuck on the ceiling!!!

Everything becomes clear in an instant as to whats happened. The hoist that is used to get her into and out of bed has malfunctioned. The controls became stuck when it was in the lift mode and had continued to raise the patient all the way up until she was spread eagled facing inches away from the metal rail that runs across her bedroom ceiling!

Fortunately our patient was in good humour and was not breathing her last although she was slightly embarressed at her predicament. We called for back up and the Fire Service turned up to provide some muscle as we managed to shuffle/slide/shove/lift her from her hoist sling and back onto the bed. The daughter provided the tea and biscuits and we completed the paperwork leaving Spider Woman to get some sleep!

And yes I did initially piss my self laughing but only after checking that she was alright!


A slightly idealistic view of our patient….just substitute the Spider suit for a pink crimpoline nightie!