It has been reported that the death of Santa has been covered up for the past 6 years to prevent world wide panic.
- Conspiracy theorists lay the blame at the door of the G8 Nations.
- The U.K. Conservative Party lay the blame on the Labour Government.
- The anti-establishment brigade lay the blame at the feet of the Police.
Inside knowledge gleaned from the man down at the pub who knows the cousin of the butcher who lives next door to the paperboy who delivers the morning Sun in the same street as the cleaner who works at the local library where she overheard two people talking, shows that Santa possibly died from passive smoking with all the chimneys he had to go down.