Started my nights and so far its been the usual mix of urgent admissions with chest infections, emergencies with falls at home, falls in the pub, assault with a baseball bat and a transfer.
One of the falls in a pub was to a 14 year old male. On arrival scene we made our way into the pub to be greeted by a throng of kids ranging from nappie age to late teens. Our patient was lying on the floor and appeared to be in agony. About four feet away from us were kids playing on the pub pool table.
Casting a wary eye around our surroundings (was this a parallel universe with Bugsy Malone?) we could just make out some adults drinking at the bar. One came over and started shouting that the young lad on the floor had broken his leg! Before we could ask any questions we were interupted by a woman who was shouting that the young lad was putting it on! This was mum & dad!
My crewmate tried to speak to the patient but the shouting between mum and dad was getting louder and louder. I found myself acting as referee and imagined myself to be Jeremy Kyle…”theres two sides to every story.” I was starring in my own chav reality show! Things were quickly getting out of hand with argument and counter argument being thrown around. (I wondered when the tables and chairs would be next?)
To change the subject I asked what the occasion was, to which I was told that it was a kids birthday party…a four year olds! In a pub! All the adults appeared to be worse for wear. The birthday boy was stood next to me…all 2 foot and a peanut of him. Holding his pool cue and looking at us with suspicious eyes. He was dressed in the chav uniform…trainers, trackie bottoms and football shirt but no no baseball cap. He was however wearing a gold chain that Mr. T would have been proud of.
We managed to extricate ourselves and the patient from the pub to the truck and transported him to the A/E. With mum giving it loads about the doctors in A/E not giving a stuff about her son last year when he fell off a moped!
The thing that sticks in my mind is that these so called adults were showing their offspring how to behave…ie get drunk, shout and bawl and generally aim low in life and they still fail to attain that target!
Shall we just surrender now?